Re-imagining (our) birthdays
Art, activism and ageing
We need as many strategies as possible to challenge and change our thinking about the implications of an ageing society, and in particular our own attitudes to our own ageing. Art activism and creative social action can contribute when it focuses on drawing attention to our inherent ageist tendencies and implicit fear of personal ageing; an outcome which is inextricably tied up with the “othering” or objectifying of older people! Creative social action can provide the jolt to our inner mindsets, disrupt the status quo and liberate our ageing.
Re-imagining (our) birthdays
This digital workshop took place on 24th May as part of the Age of Creativity Festival 2023. It was led by Meg LaPorte and Jordan Evans, co-founders of Art Against Ageism and Dave Martin, associate with Canopy and co-founder of Better Birthdays.
We all have birthdays. It's the one time when we’ll connect with the fact we are ageing; the session was a playful opportunity to creatively reflect upon ageing and ageism prompted by Birthdays.
So where did birthdays come from? Apparently it all began back around 3000 BC when ancient Egyptians started to celebrate birthdays, although the Romans were among the first people to celebrate birthdays as we know them today. The interesting thing about the origins of birthdays is that the time of a birthday was considered a time of change and people are vulnerable and anxious at times of change.
It seems these rituals – lighting candles, making lots of noise, offerings such as cake weren’t really about celebrating but rather friends and family gathering to ward off evil spirits and to support the birthday person. A kind of intervention if you will, perhaps with our ageist attitudes to our ageing we could do with such interventions to create more pro-aging birthday experiences?
The workshop included exercises and discussion highlighting our internalised ageism. If we aren’t careful, birthdays can become heart-sink moments. Here are some of the comments made in the workshop:-
“There is a song just released that has the words '20, how am I 20, how did I turn 20?' as though it's a death sentence…”
“I didn't want to look at any of my cards from my 30th. I kept them up for a day and then threw them in the bin.”
“I've seen a lot of struggles around turning 40- particularly women turning 40…”
“When I turned 40- I did not celebrate it really- I wouldn’t let my partner plan a party for me.”
“My mum said she felt like an invisibility cape covered her the day after her 60th birthday.”
“I'm often told that I don't look my age - as if that would be a bad thing. Whereas I am exactly the age that I am!”
“Even when you try to be age positive, people really want to make you feel bad about it on the day. Existential crisis coming from others!
How might we re-imagine birthdays to be pro-ageing?
Could birthdays be opportunities for everyday conversations about attitudes to ageing?
We considered ideas on how to be proactive and set the scene for pro-ageing birthday celebrations with family and friends, in the workplace and of course for ourselves.
These ideas included:-
Wearing badges and putting up birthday bunting which stated “Ageism free zone at this birthday” - “No ageism acceptable in celebrating this birthday!”
Maybe have handy “red cards” to call out any ageist remarks or moments of internalised ageism - like ” wow you look good for your age”, “you don’t look 60”, “She’s 70 years young.”
“We all have EDI policies at work- I think we should explore how we can make this more positive around ageing - birthdays in the workplace…..raising awareness about ageism in workplaces ….Birthday Positive Packs for workplaces?”
“I think we should make age more visible and everyone wears a badge on their birthday with their age - if you make it a normative behaviour alongside something positive, it will change how we feel about it”.
“Action pledged to take – speak out at local shops selling ageist cards – to start the debate…..Print something to hand out to shop keepers about ageist cards.”
The workshop highlighted:-
How ageism subtly (and not so subtly) shows up around birthdays.
How we are still vulnerable to our change of age just like in ancient Greece and
How we might become more proactive with birthday arrangements to create positive ageing scenarios.
A call for – positive ageing/anti ageist birthday toolkits?
